I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson
212
(192) I have a function God would have me fill.
I seek the function
that would set me free from all the vain illusions of the world. Only the function God has given me can offer
freedom. Only this I seek, and only this
will I accept as mine.
I
am not a body. I am free.
For
I am still as God created me.
Vain illusions of the world – the promises of happiness and meaning and gratification in a world where everything that has the least amount of pleasantness attached to it is both costly and fleeting. I would seek my function not in the illusion but in God. My joy and meaning does not come from the illusion of the world; my joy and meaning, my very function comes from God. I do not have to justify my existence with a job, a career, a profession. I do not have to impress anybody with my education, wealth, looks, or my material possessions. My function is the one that God would have me fill. God created me with Love, for Love, and in Love. This is the function that God would have me fill. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson
211
(191) I am the holy Son of God Himself.
In silence and
in true humility, I seek God’s glory, to behold it in the Son whom He created
as my Self.
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
When I deny my identity as a Son of God, I have accepted that this is my world: Chaos, frailty, dis-ease, decay, evil, sin, hopelessness, death and nothingness. It can be disguised for only so long before this world shows its emptiness and despair. I am as God created me – an everlasting spirit, a Son of God, sinless, immortal. This thought lifts me above the world and all the worldly thoughts that would hold me prisoner. And it is from this place of safety and escape, that I will return and be set free. For when I accept my own true Identity, verse five states, then I am truly saved and am in a position to save others, for I have no more need to use my powers cruelly. This is the way hell is undone! In verse 7, this lesson tells us to remind ourselves with these words:
I am the holy
Son of God Himself. I cannot suffer,
cannot be in pain, I cannot suffer loss, nor fail to do all that salvation asks.
Verse nine goes on – I can no longer see myself as
weak or frail with futile hopes and devastated dreams, born to die, to weep and
suffer pain, because all power is given me in heaven and in earth.
I reel with the magnitude of it – the audacity. Could it possibly be true? How could the Holy Son of God Himself be
encased in this mortal body? In me? Be me?
And yet. Heart beating like a drum, I know it is true. I am a holy Son of God – I am not a body. I am free. I am still as God created me. https://youtu.be/Y8yr5vEO7h0
I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson
210
(190) I choose the joy of God instead of pain.
Pain is my own
idea. It is not a Thought of God, but
one I thought apart from Him and from His Will.
His Will is joy, and only joy for His beloved Son. And that I choose, instead of what I made.
I
am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Personal Notes and
Application: I
choose the joy of God instead of the pain of losing another “dad,” another family
member who died without our ever truly knowing and loving him. We bring the dark past to the light of the
Holy Spirit and we ask for the joy of God instead of this pain. It was with us all day – as we visited our
family and spent time with our loved ones – this underlying bewilderment of all
that was lost, seemingly forever. I have
been practicing the holy instant in the spare moments – on the trip here and
yesterday throughout the day. Admittedly,
at times the practice feels mechanical, and yet there are times it feels glorious
and liberating – there he is, my dear and innocent father-in-law, in the holy
instant with me, stunned and bewildered, but there at least where there is love
and light and goodness, instead of that other place devised to keep us
eternally separated from our true Selves.
When the troubling accounts began, I forgot to
choose the joy of God instead of pain. I
could feel my stomach knotting, a tension in my chest and shoulders, a
steeliness in my mind that felt like hatred. Forgetting my prayers of quietness and peace,
I spouted bitterness, my mind reeled with it. There was a false spirit of camaraderie,
joining in with the others, throwing another log on the fire of meanness from
the past. I chose the joy of God again,
but only later, when I remembered. I
know where the pain comes from – this realm of separation and despair. I can deny it all – this dream and this
illusion, and instead of activating the past, I can choose to live in this joy-filled
moment and enjoy our family, be thankful for the friends who come to visit, the
kindnesses and love. How do I navigate through this realm and not
get sucked in by the fear and hatred? My
sister-in-law says we must forgive and not bring all that stuff up to rehash it
again and again, and she is right. It
does nothing but keep it alive in our minds, not healed, not undone, still
harmful and dis-easeful, stressing our systems and doing us no good.
Yesterday our daughter and I discussed the Course –
the concepts of the illusion, special relationships, and salvation from separation. She said she had always believed in what the
Course says; she just didn’t know how to put it into words. Now we have the words. Now we have the instruction. Now all we have to do is study and apply!
I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson
209
(189) I feel the love of God within me now.
The Love of God
is what created me. The Love of God is
everything I am. The Love of God proclaimed
me as His Son. The Love of God within me
sets me free.
I
am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Personal Notes and
Application: I do
feel the love of God within me now. This
morning we woke up at my brother-in-law’s house. At first, I didn’t know where I was and then
I remembered: We were here for a
funeral. To honor the memory of the man
who brought forth my husband’s body into the world. However it is the love of God who created us,
it is the love of God that is everything we are. The love of God has proclaimed us as His Son
and sets us free from the bondage of our human ancestry, bodies, and DNA – and we
can be thankful for that. The love of
God sets us free then from tribal traditions, clannish obligations, and
meaningless cultural compulsions. We can choose to go through the motions if we
so desire, but we are free.
I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson
207
(187) I bless the world because I bless myself.
God’s blessing
shines upon me from within my heart, where He abides. I need but turn to Him and every sorrow melts
away, as I accept His boundless Love for me.
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Personal Notes and Application: Today there is little time to explore the thorny grief and sorrow of losing a father whom we have come to love only through abstraction and forgiveness. That perhaps will come later after the demands of house and property, packing and travel, family and funeral. At this time, we will bless the world because we bless ourselves by spending time with God, where He abides within our hearts, where we can turn to Him, and every sorrow and conflict melts away as we accept His boundless Love for us.
We (James and I) meet my father-in-law in the holy instant. We welcome him with open mind and arms – forgetting and forgiving the hardships and hurts from the past. Let us see only his true Self, a Son of God, created holy and innocent and eternal. Let me thank him for James, my loving and beloved husband. Let us only remember the good he has done. Let all the memories that torment melt away in the light of God’s boundless love. In Jesus name. Amen.
Theme: I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson 206
(186) Salvation of the world depends on me.
I am entrusted
with the gifts of God, because I am His Son.
And I would give
His gifts where He intended them to be.
I
am not a body. I am free.
For
I am still as God created me.
Personal Notes and
Application:
In Lesson 186, verse one, Jesus says that this
statement will one day take all arrogance away from every mind. That realizing that salvation of the world
depends upon me is a thought of true humility, which holds no function of my
own but that which has been given me. I
take the part that has been assigned to me and I no longer insist upon another
role. That saving the world but
acknowledges the Will of God being done on earth as it is in Heaven. Doing this – saving the world, learning how
to save the world, accepting that this, and this alone is the Will of God for
my life, the function that has been assigned to me, unites all wills on earth
in Heaven’s plan to save the world and restores the world to Heaven’s
peace.
In the lesson that we are reviewing today, Jesus urges us not to fight our function. Fighting my function and trying to find my reason for being in all manner of other roles is what I have done most my life! The special relationship was especially calling to me, seeking out the ultimate lover, “Thee One,” who would make me special, would adore and cherish me, would put me above all others. I wanted to be educated and have degrees. I wanted to be a writer, travel first class, be loved and adored by people from all over the world. I wanted to go down in history for something, I just didn’t know what and I didn’t know how. I knew that it would all end in loneliness, despair, and death and so I never put my all into it; I rather expected it to just happen – one day I would wake up and it would just come to me. It did not seem to be a necessarily selfish goal. I didn’t want to be famous or well-loved for doing anything evil or mean– it had to be something that brought goodness to the world. I would pray to God, latch on to causes, put forth vision boards and practice visualizations, say special prayers, and make tremendous efforts, but the efforts in this direction never quite panned out because at the core of me, I knew that they were selfish goals even if they appeared to be good. It was all about me, after all, and my unquenchable yearning to be loved, admired, to be the best at something.
So it would stand to reason, one would think, that
realizing that the salvation of the world depends on me, would satisfy that
yearning for specialness, give me something for which the ego – who yearns to
be a superhero, a rock star, a shining light in one form or other – could latch
on to and go forth and do just that. But
the ego instead shrieks with panic and says “Eckie, this Course is
madness. You cannot save the world. You are a big zero, a big nothing. Who do you think you are? You are going to end up just like your mother
reading such BS and taking it to heart.
Put it away. Enjoy the few years
you have left.”
And Jesus addresses this in verse six. He says, “Arrogance makes an image of
yourself that is not real. It is this
image that quails and retreats in terror, as the Voice for God assures you that
you have the strength, the wisdom, and the holiness to go beyond all
images. You are not weak, as is the
image of yourself. You are not ignorant
and helpless. Sin cannot tarnish the
truth in you, and misery can come not near the holy home of God.”
“Enjoy your special relationships,” ego says, “They
are all you really have, after all.”
Yes, those special relationships – the way they rise
and fall, shifting between coldness, aloofness, snubs, and backbiting to warmth,
closeness, secret-sharing, and seeming brotherhood – I know better than to ever
consider enjoying a special relationship, ego! And I laugh.
I will do as God’s Voice directs. And if He asks a thing of me which seems
impossible, I will remember Who it is Who asks, and how then could I say
no? In verse 12, Jesus asks us to
consider which voice is more likely to be right – the Voice that speaks for the
Creator of all things, Who knows all things exactly as they are, or a distorted
image of ourselves, confused, bewildered, inconsistent, and unsure of
everything.
And then in verse 14, we find what saving the world
really looks like. In sentence five,
Jesus states: “Salvation of the world depends on you who can forgive. Such is your function here.” We are not asked to be different in any way
from what we are, all we are asked to do is forgive. So let us forgive. And save the world. Amen.
I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
Lesson
205
(185) I want the peace of God.
The peace of God
is everything I want. The peace of God
is my one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and
my function and my life, while I abide where I am not at home.
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Personal Notes and Application:
I am not a body. I am free.For I am still as God created me.
My prayer then is that truly it is the peace of God
that I want. That the peace of God is my
one goal; the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my
function and my life, while I abide where I am not at home. My prayer then is
that I don’t make this illusion my home, that the ego cannot convince me that I
do not belong in Heaven.
For this is what the ego tells me: I am too flaky and changeable to ever abide forever with my Father and belong to the holy Sonship of God. Too much of a fun-lover, the ego tells me. You would never be happy there with all that peace and joy and love. You need to shake things up too much. You love to judge people and scold them and tell them what to do. Look at how you tore into that poor guy last night at Lowe’s for blowing dust on your legs. You know those Jesus types – they would have just let the guy blow dust up their skirt, smiled gently, and excused themselves for standing in the way. You are not an old sap of a girl like they are, the ego says to me. You are a rascal, a jo-jo, frankly just a blasted stinker of a person always thinking of yourself, and why not? That’s what everybody does, whether they admit it or not. It’s all about them, so why can’t it be all about you for a change? The peace of God, for that is what you pretend to seek, is not what you want at all. You want adventure, superiority, snappiness, vengeance, and judgment. What is all this talk about brotherhood and sonship? Can you imagine nobody being unique, outstanding, or gifted? Everybody being equal. What a joke! Relax and be yourself. Don’t listen to that voice for god; it is just your imagination. You see what it does to people – makes them weirdos, fruitcakes, those new-age types that would cry and eat chocolate all day just because Trump won the election, or even worse those Pentecostals that blubber gibberish and fool themselves into believing it is God and angel language that they are speaking. Just be normal, move away from such madness. It has been your real aim and your real goal your whole life. Carry on with that, the other voice tells me.
This morning I woke up and the question in my mind was
this: Are you a one or a zero? A memory from Liberty Valley Elementary came
to mind. Over fifty years ago, our class
made pictures using the one and zero commands as a tool for learning how
computers communicate. We were told to
leave the space blank when the teacher said zero; if he called “one,”
we filled it in, (or it may have been the other way around). For those of us who did not miss a command, we
had a picture of a flower in a vase at the end of the exercise.
Elliot: Are you a one or a zero? That’s the question you have to ask yourself. Are you a yes or a no? Are you going to act or not?
Mr. Robot: Yo… you’ve been staring at a computer screen way too long, homie. Life’s not that binary. Isn’t it?
Elliot: Sure, there are grays… But when you come right down to it, at its core, beneath every choice, there’s either a one or a zero. You either do something or you don’t. You walk out that door; you’ve decided to do nothing, to say no, which means you do not come back. You leave, you are no longer a part of this. You become a zero. If you stay, if you want to change the world, you become a yes. You become a one. So, I’ll ask you again: are you a one or a zero?
I either do something, or I don’t. I am either in or out. In Course terms, I am part of the Kingdom, or
I am “normal” in time, contributing to the illusion, prolonging suffering
for my brothers and me, trying to find meaning and purpose in unreality, in a
big blank zero of a realm.
I choose the peace of God. I want the peace of God. I am willing to let all the ego’s desire for
specialness and intrigue, fame and fortune, lust and revenge, for ease and
luxury, go – for it is a big zero. I am
a One. I trust in my brothers as I
believe in the Voice for God. I will
find everything that I truly want in the peace of God.
REVIEW VI – I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Lesson 204
(184) The Name of God is my inheritance.
God’s Name reminds me that I am His Son, not slave to time, unbound by laws which rule the world of sick illusions, free in God, forever and forever one with Him.
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Personal Notes and Application:I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
This thought is a terrible fright to the ego. The ego is the body. It has and is nothing outside the body; the thought of not having a body is frightening to my ego and it is shrieking but what about this and what about that?
I am not a body and I am free of all the body’s demands. Ego – you can’t make the body attractive to me no matter what you do to make it so – I know what you do to the body in the end. I know. You devour it. It is your nature to do so – I cannot take it personal, but personal is what you would make it. You can have the body with all its unceasing demands for worship and sustenance and all its specialness. You cannot create a thing that would make it the more palatable to me because you are death and dying and disease. How dare you try to tempt me with food and music and lust for fame and wealth and adventure. There is nothing you could ever give me that would not result in destruction, loneliness, despair and fear and death only to do it over and over again until finally I would wake up to the Love of God who is calling to me, Who gave me His name, and Who calls for me to wake up and come home from this tempting nightmare.
You cannot hurt me, ego. With your dreams of worms and fears of blindness and parasites and rejection and poverty and disease and old age – you cannot hurt me, for I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me. The Name of God is my inheritance. In God is my identity and purpose.
I also want to thank God for the breakthrough for my brother from our study group. We talked at length today and through personal lessons which would otherwise be unbearable trials, a greater understanding of the special relationship and the holding no grievances was accomplished. Let us walk in truth and realize our identity in God.
