Part 1  Undoing the Way We See Things Now

REVIEW VI

I am not a body.  I am free.  For I am still as God created me.

 Lesson 203

  1. (183) I will call upon God’s Name and on my own.

 The name of God is my deliverance from every thought of evil and of sin, because it is my own as well as His.

I am not a body.  I am free.  For I am still as God created me. 

 Personal Notes and Application:

I am not a body.  I am free.  For I am still as God created me.

I have been struggling with the Course.  Yesterday’s lesson about being still an instant and going home, gave me pause.  I started to realize how much I have invested here – all my talk of despising the world and only to discover just how much I like it here – the food, the music, our house and animals and property, our bodies, the gardens, the travel and the fun things we do.  I started to have doubts about how happy I would be with all that oneness and stillness and union – when I watch shows on television or read books, what makes them interesting is all the intrigue, the lies, betrayal, murder, and drama.  It was such a jolt to everything that I have always thought and even said about myself, how much I have despised it here from little up, how homesick I felt, how much the alien I have experienced myself as being – only for the reveal of how much I absolutely adore it here, how my heart races at the music and the scenery and a resounding thunderstorms,  the stories and melodramas that take place.  How bored I get with the Course at times and how I resist the hard work.  It has been revealed to me why I am here – I can no longer kid myself – I chose specialness over union and unity and God.  And I continue to choose this sometimes even though I know better now.

One of my Pentecostal brothers called me today and I was sharing the concepts of special relationships and projection while he was writing it down and thanking me for shedding understanding on what he is experiencing in a special relationship.  I realize no matter what my struggles and what aversion I may have to some of the exercises or precepts, that the Course is true, and that no matter my lack of sophistication, understanding, and enjoyment of the curriculum, my function is to share it to the best of my ability.  James, whom I was relying on to warn me about getting in too deep and to not become obsessed with the Course, has instead encouraged me to share what I am learning to a wider audience.  It’s not enough, he told me, to share it with me and Linda and Juli, and the Course study group.  You have to share it with everybody.  My neighbor told me, Oh this is what the world is hungry for, Eckie.   The Course itself reiterates throughout – that this is not a selfish message, I cannot keep what I have learned from it, until I share it with my brothers.

I do not mean to protest, to whine, or complain, but I want to be honest with people.  This is a rigorous undertaking, or I am doing it wrong!  When the Holy Spirit told me to study A Course in Miracles this year, I thought I would be able to do other things as well.  I had no idea the “rigor” it demands, which Dr. Walsh describes in his evaluation of the Course.  https://www.miraclecenter.org/wp/evaluating-a-course-in-miracles/

I’m sixty.  I don’t want to work so hard; I get weary and resentful.  I quit my job as a prevention educator to travel and live in hotels with my husband.  I wanted to take it easy!  Work on that novel I started years ago; work on a tan, work at not working!  Take the fifty pounds that the Holy Spirit directed me to take off  – my ego thinks I am fine the way I am.  Grandma’s get to be chunky, he says to me.  Why you don’t want to be one of those old ladies who don’t eat cookies or enjoy a bowl of ice cream.   Why bother?  You’ll be dead in a decade or two.  Enjoy yourself.  Same line of reasoning when I sit down to work on Grover Good or study my text or get the lessons lined up for the week for our study group.  It is always so much easier to choose to go along with the ego, to project my own dissatisfactions about myself toward others.

What is so very precious about this is all I have to do is take it to the Holy Spirit and ask for help.  The Holy Spirit by His very nature will never force His help upon me, but will help me the very instant that I call upon Him.  Every single time.

I could never be happy for long in this world regardless of how the music affects me or the food, or the scenery, or the separate and meaningless, purposeless activities.  It is a poor excuse for the Love of God and the Kingdom of love and unity which goes on forever and forever, established once and for all without end.  Things accomplished in the kingdom are accomplished forever.

Lesson completed on Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Harrisonburg, Virginia