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Lesson 210 – I Choose the Joy of God Instead of Pain

Part 1 

Undoing the Way We See Things Now


I am not a body.  I am free. For I am still as God created me.

Lesson 210

  1. (190)  I choose the joy of God instead of pain.

Pain is my own idea.  It is not a Thought of God, but one I thought apart from Him and from His Will.  His Will is joy, and only joy for His beloved Son.  And that I choose, instead of what I made.

I am not a body.  I am free.  For I am still as God created me. 

Personal Notes and Application:   I choose the joy of God instead of the pain of losing another “dad,” another family member who died without our ever truly knowing and loving him.  We bring the dark past to the light of the Holy Spirit and we ask for the joy of God instead of this pain.  It was with us all day – as we visited our family and spent time with our loved ones – this underlying bewilderment of all that was lost, seemingly forever.  I have been practicing the holy instant in the spare moments – on the trip here and yesterday throughout the day.  Admittedly, at times the practice feels mechanical, and yet there are times it feels glorious and liberating – there he is, my dear and innocent father-in-law, in the holy instant with me, stunned and bewildered, but there at least where there is love and light and goodness, instead of that other place devised to keep us eternally separated from our true Selves. 

When the troubling accounts began, I forgot to choose the joy of God instead of pain.  I could feel my stomach knotting, a tension in my chest and shoulders, a steeliness in my mind that felt like hatred.  Forgetting my prayers of quietness and peace, I spouted bitterness, my mind reeled with it.  There was a false spirit of camaraderie, joining in with the others, throwing another log on the fire of meanness from the past.  I chose the joy of God again, but only later, when I remembered.  I know where the pain comes from – this realm of separation and despair.  I can deny it all – this dream and this illusion, and instead of activating the past, I can choose to live in this joy-filled moment and enjoy our family, be thankful for the friends who come to visit, the kindnesses and love.   How do I navigate through this realm and not get sucked in by the fear and hatred?  My sister-in-law says we must forgive and not bring all that stuff up to rehash it again and again, and she is right.  It does nothing but keep it alive in our minds, not healed, not undone, still harmful and dis-easeful, stressing our systems and doing us no good.    

Yesterday our daughter and I discussed the Course – the concepts of the illusion, special relationships, and salvation from separation.  She said she had always believed in what the Course says; she just didn’t know how to put it into words.  Now we have the words.  Now we have the instruction.  Now all we have to do is study and apply! 

Filed under: ACIM

About the Author

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Coming up on sixty, my love for God, home and hearth, my husband and family fueled my decision to devote the rest of my life only to pursuits which brought love, joy, peace, and purpose. I am a writer, seeker, student, and teacher with experience professional and otherwise from waitressing to teaching the English language in China, Taiwan, and Singapore. I hold a BA in Psychology from Bloomsburg University, which took nearly 30 years to attain while I squeezed courses in between raising my children, journaling, relationships, work, and an assortment of escapades, some of which I would rather forget! An ongoing passion for reading, writing, adventure, food, and fun, eventually led me to the love of my life, James, whom I met in 1996 and married in 1997. Our life together has been an exciting journey of work and travel, spiritual awakening, and domestic bliss ever since. Although we have experienced the tragic loss of family members and friends through death and estrangement, we have managed to turn our special relationship into a holy one by the grace of God and an acute and growing awareness of “there must be a better way!” In 2006, I published my first novel, Luella’s Calling, and am currently working on my second, Grover Good and the Stone Chateau. From 2013 through 2018, I worked as a Prevention Education Specialist for Transitions, a local domestic violence sexual abuse victim’s service agency. My work there, fueled by a lifelong enthusiasm for teaching, led me to obtain an MS in Education from Scranton University. In 2018, I resigned to accompany James on his work travels while focusing on my calling to study and teach A Course in Miracles. To that end, I dedicate the rest of my days to writing, sharing, and teaching the message of salvation found within the Course pages. Thank you for your interest in this blog. As I do not respond to comments on the posts, if you care to contact me, please email me at

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