Part 1 

Undoing the Way We See Things Now


I am not a body.  I am free. For I am still as God created me.

Lesson 210

  1. (190)  I choose the joy of God instead of pain.

Pain is my own idea.  It is not a Thought of God, but one I thought apart from Him and from His Will.  His Will is joy, and only joy for His beloved Son.  And that I choose, instead of what I made.

I am not a body.  I am free.  For I am still as God created me. 

Personal Notes and Application:   I choose the joy of God instead of the pain of losing another “dad,” another family member who died without our ever truly knowing and loving him.  We bring the dark past to the light of the Holy Spirit and we ask for the joy of God instead of this pain.  It was with us all day – as we visited our family and spent time with our loved ones – this underlying bewilderment of all that was lost, seemingly forever.  I have been practicing the holy instant in the spare moments – on the trip here and yesterday throughout the day.  Admittedly, at times the practice feels mechanical, and yet there are times it feels glorious and liberating – there he is, my dear and innocent father-in-law, in the holy instant with me, stunned and bewildered, but there at least where there is love and light and goodness, instead of that other place devised to keep us eternally separated from our true Selves. 

When the troubling accounts began, I forgot to choose the joy of God instead of pain.  I could feel my stomach knotting, a tension in my chest and shoulders, a steeliness in my mind that felt like hatred.  Forgetting my prayers of quietness and peace, I spouted bitterness, my mind reeled with it.  There was a false spirit of camaraderie, joining in with the others, throwing another log on the fire of meanness from the past.  I chose the joy of God again, but only later, when I remembered.  I know where the pain comes from – this realm of separation and despair.  I can deny it all – this dream and this illusion, and instead of activating the past, I can choose to live in this joy-filled moment and enjoy our family, be thankful for the friends who come to visit, the kindnesses and love.   How do I navigate through this realm and not get sucked in by the fear and hatred?  My sister-in-law says we must forgive and not bring all that stuff up to rehash it again and again, and she is right.  It does nothing but keep it alive in our minds, not healed, not undone, still harmful and dis-easeful, stressing our systems and doing us no good.    

Yesterday our daughter and I discussed the Course – the concepts of the illusion, special relationships, and salvation from separation.  She said she had always believed in what the Course says; she just didn’t know how to put it into words.  Now we have the words.  Now we have the instruction.  Now all we have to do is study and apply!