Part 2:2 WHAT IS SALVATION
Be In My Mind, My Father, Through The Day.
- Be in my mind, my Father, when I wake, and shine on me throughout the day today. Let every minute be time in which I dwell with You. And let me not forget my hourly thanksgiving that You have remained with me, and always will be there to hear my call to You and answer me. As evening comes, let all my thoughts be still of You and of Your Love. And let me sleep sure of my safety, certain of Your care, and happily aware I am Your Son.
- This is as every day should be. Today, practice the end of fear. Have faith in Him Who is your Father. Trust all things to Him. Let Him reveal all things to you, and be you undismayed because you are His Son.
I prayed throughout the day yesterday that I would keep this new sense of being closer to the goal, of realizing what is hiding behind all the fear and survival and calls of the ego, of understanding what and who I really am and what a waste of time it is identifying with the separate ego. I sensed without words and explanation throughout the day what salvation means – it was as if I had never quite gotten it before. I knew that there was salvation and yet I was never quite sure exactly what it was I would be saved from and to what the rescued state would be. I knew on a gut level that I was an eternal being, and I had no say about it.
My eternal destiny seemed to rely upon trite and meaningless phrases like “believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved.” What did that mean? How could I believe in someone I never met and why would I want to follow in this guy’s footsteps and be nailed to a cross. It was hideous teaching – as if God Himself had demanded a blood sacrifice and finding no blood in the world holy enough to appease Him, had sent his dearly beloved son to suffer for us. Then we expected to be eternally grateful to this bloodthirsty tyrant to be “saved.” If I choose this way, then I sacrifice this and the this I had to sacrifice seemed as if it was too much, given the fact that I am stuck here in an ego-driven world that keeps presenting ancient enticements in which to throw me off the spiritual path! I would be only too happy to live in a world of no-fear, but human nature has taught me to be wary and on guard. My worldly survival and pleasures seems to rest upon the ego’s fear-based mentality.
Yesterday the Holy Spirit showed me – what exactly it is that I have to surrender to God, and why. But no shame, because this is the process, and we should never deny our process or our brother’s process.
Words to describe the reveal escape me. It was in stillness and in the quiet and holy space of devotion that Holy Spirit opened up my mind to what the ego has kept from me – my perfect eternal life, the real world, the Heavenly Kingdom. I understood why there is absolutely no room in the Kingdom of God for a potty mouth, troublemaker, glutton, rioter, rumormonger, cheater, smarty-pants, or any hateful, unloving word, thought, or deed. In that place, I was home for a few moments, and to come back to this world with its systems of fear, greed, decay, and entropy was a sobering experience indeed.
To understand why I am here and not there; to realize in the invisible, secret place that my rebellion against God, in thinking I know what is better for me than He does, that I could make another me that had nothing to do with what He created, that I could make a sustainable alternate version of my real Self and show Him who is boss – chastened and gave me immense pause. Humbled and stunned, but only in the best sense of the word, I understood that it was not Creator Who cursed the world or the people in it. God in His love and mercy put us to deep sleep to allow our dreams of separation and specialness inform us of what ego’s alternate version of reality comes to – the destruction of the created world, the extinction of its species, its mass killings and rape and plunder, a cycle of birth and death, of little joys and big sorrows. And even in the dream, He gave us Holy Spirit within to call to us, to waken us, to draw us back to His Kingdom.
My prayer is to keep this reveal in my mind, O Father. Grant that I may always remember Your love for me and the way Your Kingdom welcomes me for those holy instants and shows me why I choose to wake up and leave this dream world of despair. I lay my ego down, and I don’t want to pick it back up! I want to follow the guidance of my Teacher to the letter. The ego has only taught me how to survive to die another day. I surrender it once and for all.
“Surrendering all” used to sound like defeat. Only losers would surrender all – all this talk of surrender comes from stupidity, my ego would tell me. Those people who surrender all? They have nothing to surrender! They wait until they have spent it all and gone bankrupt – and then pretend to surrender all to God. Not like you, the ego would say. Just look at you – you have the world by the tail. You can be anybody you want to be, go anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do – you are a good, decent, pretty, smart, ambitious woman. You don’t need to surrender a thing. Hence, throughout my spiritual journey, I took this voice with me. I let it make decisions for me. When it was to its advantage, I would listen to the Voice for God; when the guidance of Holy Spirit did not seem to be to its advantage, I followed the voice of ego.
Following the voice of ego is what I surrender, that is what I bring to the cross, giving up the big zero know-it-all, so that my real Self emerges, and I can go Home!
Be in my mind, Oh Father, and shine on me throughout the day today.