II. SECTION 14. What am I?
Lesson 358 No call to God can be unheard nor left unanswered. And of this I can be sure; His answer is the one I really want.
- You Who remember what I really am alone remember what I really want. You speak for God, and so You speak for me. And what You give me comes from God Himself. Your Voice, my Father, then is mine as well, and all I want is what You offer me, in just the form You choose that it be mine. Let me remember all I do not know, and let my voice be still, remembering. But let me not forget Your Love and care, keeping Your promise to Your Son in my awareness always. Let me not forget myself is nothing, but my Self is all.”[1]
What am I? What are you? Today’s lesson concept assures us that God will answer this call; God will respond to our question when we no longer try to answer it ourselves. We put away all our arrogance and ignorance. We lay our egos aside and we call to Him, the only One that knows. What am I? Who am I? Why am I here and what does it mean?
Until we are no longer willing to go anywhere but straight to the Source, we will dig in dirt, dissect and deconstruct, study the stars, explore the galaxy. We will discard one “truth” in exchange for another. We will make up hypotheses and base our theories on ambiguous data. We will ridicule, build cases, and go to battle over ideals that are based on assumptions. This is what we do in our humanity, in our small-case selves!
In today’s prayer, we put those “selves” aside because we recognize how fragile and futile are its cases. We turn to the God in us for the God in us is the only part of us Who knows what we are, Who gives us what we really want, Who speaks for us and not against us! When we begin to identify with the God in us rather than the small-case self, that is the only Self we want. We take that Self in any form God chooses us to take, but the form is not the content. The content is the only Self we are interested in. We are no longer the least inclined to find our answers in the form of the “self” we made, for form is nothing. It goes nowhere. It stays in time.
The holy Self is the only Self because that Self is of God, in God, and one with God.
Salvation is forever. Forgiveness is a formality that reflects the Love of God. Our forgiveness undoes all the forms of time. When we look upon time itself as a learning tool, a place where we who have lost our certainty must get it back again, we can forgive the atrocities that seem happen here even as we forgive ourselves and others for all the crazy things that happen in a dream.
The very fact that we are asking the question “What am I?” and directing it to God is all we need to assure us that we have come to the right Source. We come back to Him with our bellies full of the other way. We have exhausted all other avenues. We have searched in this lifetime and perhaps many other lifetimes, in this form and perhaps in many other forms, to get to this place, to conclude that what we want, only the God for us and in us can deliver. We have had enough of lies, illusions, fantasies, and magic. We have had enough of independence, separation, loneliness, and despair. We want wholeness, unity, and oneness that can be found in identifying with our Christ alone.
We lose only that which is beastly and small to become Him Who is His Son. His response to who and what we are is truly the only one we want!
[1] A Course in Miracles, Workbook for Students. Lesson 358. Foundation for Inner Peace, Second Edition (1992). p. 483.
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