Part 1 Undoing the Way We See Things Now
REVIEW VI
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.
Lesson 216
- (196) It can be but myself I crucify.
All that I do, I do unto myself. If I attack, I suffer. But if I forgive, salvation will be given me.
I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.[1]
Morning and Evening Meditation
In our Course study today we went over today’s lesson. We sat with the thought I am not a body, I am free. For I am still as God created me. We let our minds ponder this, imagining if you will the freedom we experience from the demands of our physical forms. We let our minds rest in the state of sinlessness, purity, and innocence in which we were created and the state in which we find ourselves in Christ.
As we reviewed and discussed Lesson 196’s main idea, we shared how often we have experienced “It can be but myself I crucify.” Last year at this time, I had been keenly drawn up about some of the ways in which even at day 216 in our Course study I was still crucifying myself by an ongoing habit of crucifying others in my mind, unforgiving of their process, picking at their faults and weaknesses and holding others accountable for that which I was doing myself. I would love to say today that I no longer engage in such behavior. That the Course teachings have taken root in my mind and that no longer do I crucify myself by gloating over or cherishing the sins and shortcomings of others.
Honestly, it happens far less frequently than last year but there are times I still find myself tempted to nail others to the cross. The only difference now is that now I know better! I know that if I nail you to the cross, I am the one that experiences the nails, the crown of thorns, the gaping wound, the shame and humiliation of nakedness, thirst, suffering, and vulnerability. I am the one that wakes up in the night and feels the whip lashes of my own condemnation. I am the one that ends up lonely, despised, and depressed. Loveless and alone, the only way I can escape is to offer forgiveness to all who have offended me, including my own sorry self.
As Linda read over the lesson review and Lesson 196, Jesus spoke to my mind and heart through her words. It is a dreary, hopeless thought to think that we can attack any part of creation and escape the attack we made on that with which we are one. This puts us in a hellish realm where we are attacking God Who is one with His Creation and every single part of it. When we set ourselves against another – call them names, make fun of them, mock their efforts to better themselves, judge them for their mistakes and wrongdoing – we are attacking God. This puts us in a precarious position in our minds for when we make an enemy of God, it really does scare us on a deep, unconscious level. We find ourselves in a hellish realm, a state of madness and insanity. We go from person to person trying to find allies to boost up our self-image, to justify our outrage and indignation, but nobody – no matter how nice they are to us, no matter how many times they pat us on the back and take our side, no matter how many drugs they give us, no matter what they do to drown out our pain and sorrow – will ever stop the sense of crucifixion that we bring upon ourselves.
Until we realize that the only one who can deliver us from the cross upon which we crucify ourselves is ourselves we will live in a hellish realm of blaming God for giving us a raw deal, Maybe He didn’t give us the right kind of mother and father, sisters and brothers. We will blame God for making us black in a world that prefers white or making us white in a world that holds whites accountable for every crime against humanity ever committed. We will blame God for letting us marry the wrong person or giving us rotten kids. We may not be aware that we are blaming God, but when we blame other people for our own unhappiness, our hurts and sorrows, our disappointments, trials, and tribulations, we are saying: “God gave me a raw deal. He made me suffer. He gave someone else a far better life than the sorry excuse He gave me. He must hate me for giving me a sister who would break my toys, flirt with my husband, and steal the affection of my only daughter.”
This idea sounds difficult and perhaps a little bit like self-condemnation until we realize that when we learn that it is not other people we hurt with our attack, but only ourselves, we do not have to worry about vengeance and pursuit. We thought we hurt others, we thought that our cruel words, our mean jabs and our angry thrusts hurt God and His Creation, but nobody is coming to take us away, nobody is coming to get us, nobody is plotting our demise – because we only hurt ourselves. When we recognize the strength and the freedom that today’s idea holds, we accept our salvation from the mad idea that we hurt others when we attack them.
In God’s Kingdom, He is our Father and we are His Son along with Christ. We lay down our arms, we put down our defenses, we are no longer afraid. God has got us in the palm of His Hand, in the center of His Heart. We have nothing to fear. His kindness and mercy envelope us forever. As we accept the mind of Christ as our own, we become one with Him who created us. Nothing can induce us to speak evil or harbor ill will in our hearts toward His Creation. When we see someone use their powers stupidly and cruelly our hearts and minds well up with pity for we know that they are only hurting themselves. They cannot hurt us because we offer them forgiveness, we offer them mercy, we give to receive that which lasts forever.
We are not a body, we are free. For we are still as God created us.
[1] A Course in Miracles. Workbook for Students. Lesson 216. Foundation for Inner Peace, Second Edition (1992).
Audio credit: The Friar Patch @ http://www.eckiefriar.com
